McCracken: Well, I clap a lot.  I also have a hard time walking past a spot where I have previously seen a skunk.  I have not been reduced to laying in large supplies of douche just in case.

Shepard: When they gang up on me, I am helpless.  One pins my hands.  Another lifts my shirt, our youngest waves one finger at me, and then presses it firmly into the folds of my inny.  I writhe.  I screw my eyes shut.  I sweat.  I am such a freak about this that my family gives up, takes pity and leaves me to my insanity.

Shteyngart: I don't. If a water bug flies into me in an apartment I will never enter that apartment again. Some Romanians came by and sealed off my own apartment completely so that nothing can ever enter it.


––What would you give up or trade to vanquish your fear?

Evenson: This is a hard one.  When it’s manageable I don’t think about it much.  When it’s not, that’s the time to catch me.  I’ve been known to give someone $5 to let me move my chicken bone onto her plate.

Grossman: What do you need? Chocolate? I would give up chocolate. Not sex, though. Something in between chocolate and sex.

McCracken: My so-called friends have, upon hearing of my fear, given me a lot of skunks—stuffed skunks, hand puppets, figurines.  I would give up my entire collection.  Luckily, no-one gives me elves.  That would be intolerable.  I really hate elves.

Shepard: I would give up many things to vanquish my fear, but nothing of real value because as my best friend would be sure to point out: everyone everywhere has irrational fears worse than mine.  I know this, so this is me, shutting up.

Shteyngart: I don't want to give up on this fear. It's a part of who I am.