FICTION
"In the Blink of an All Seeing Eye"
/ Ben Bush
10.16.06
Staring at the carbon paper and indicating where it ought to be signed, the salesman was visibly excited and nervous. "You must be the Vic Graburn. Can I tell you how much we love your movies in Nigeria."
"Really," Graburn said with a passing interest, "How much do you love them?"
"Oh, the very, very best. Your movie Crunch Time: Of all the big, amazing, huge American blockbusters, yours is the biggest, hugest, most amazing block destroyer of them all! It busted up big blocks among the men in Maiduguri and the women some of them liked it, too, but not as much as the men. It reminds us of what was good about the war now that we have made peace with the secessionists. Now we watch the film together with the men from the south and cheer the explosions together. Your movies helped us make peace and have steeled our resolve for our new fight against the men from the north.”
"Thanks," Graburn said, raising his shopping bag in a salute and turning to go.
"Wait!” the vendor said, “For a man like you I have something special. Things I don't sell to just anyone. Because you are a man of quality I will sell you things of great quality."
The vendor pulled a cardboard box from beneath the table and set it before us. Dalkon Shield® IUDs had been bent and painted to look like animals of the grasslands: dik-diks and lemurs. The contraceptives’ long dangling strings had been stiffened with wheat paste to form the creatures’ tails. Cans of Similac infant formula had been cut and folded into toy canoes and tiny tin perambulators with the printed gold ribbon squirreling around their exteriors and one ear of the teddy bear logo peaking up into the prow of the boat.
"I haven't seen much like these in the catalogs or collector's auctions,” Graburn said. “These are rather unique." He gazed on them with genuine appreciation and purchased the entire set.
"Thank you, Mr. Graburn,” said the salesman. “It is an honor to pass these objects into your commanding possession."
"Man, that guy was a real gentleman," Graburn said to me as soon as we were back amidst the throng of the crowd, "A real high-class guy."
"Really," Graburn said with a passing interest, "How much do you love them?"
"Oh, the very, very best. Your movie Crunch Time: Of all the big, amazing, huge American blockbusters, yours is the biggest, hugest, most amazing block destroyer of them all! It busted up big blocks among the men in Maiduguri and the women some of them liked it, too, but not as much as the men. It reminds us of what was good about the war now that we have made peace with the secessionists. Now we watch the film together with the men from the south and cheer the explosions together. Your movies helped us make peace and have steeled our resolve for our new fight against the men from the north.”
"Thanks," Graburn said, raising his shopping bag in a salute and turning to go.
"Wait!” the vendor said, “For a man like you I have something special. Things I don't sell to just anyone. Because you are a man of quality I will sell you things of great quality."
The vendor pulled a cardboard box from beneath the table and set it before us. Dalkon Shield® IUDs had been bent and painted to look like animals of the grasslands: dik-diks and lemurs. The contraceptives’ long dangling strings had been stiffened with wheat paste to form the creatures’ tails. Cans of Similac infant formula had been cut and folded into toy canoes and tiny tin perambulators with the printed gold ribbon squirreling around their exteriors and one ear of the teddy bear logo peaking up into the prow of the boat.
"I haven't seen much like these in the catalogs or collector's auctions,” Graburn said. “These are rather unique." He gazed on them with genuine appreciation and purchased the entire set.
"Thank you, Mr. Graburn,” said the salesman. “It is an honor to pass these objects into your commanding possession."
"Man, that guy was a real gentleman," Graburn said to me as soon as we were back amidst the throng of the crowd, "A real high-class guy."
