I am here to lose what remains of me, Howard Storm. I have changed my name because I am not ready to lose my real name yet, which is Stephen Howling. But that is really just half my real name. My real first name is Stephen but my real last name is not Howling. I am not ready to give up my real surname.
   From Las Vegas I can go to Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, California, or Utah. Walking I mean. I tell myself the absence of water will not bother me. There‘s rocks and sand. Wonderful Biblical things happen in the desert.
   Whatever happens to me out here, I will still be called Stephen. Or Howard. Or Barnes. These are my choices for names in the order of preference. I am willing to lose everything else, but I will not lose this list of first names and their order of my preference.


When I get there—when I get to Hoover Dam—I know something will present itself.


I haven’t answered my phone in two days.
   I haven’t turned it on since yesterday.