Less than a week to go, and a lot of people I have talked to have already voted in the election, by early or absentee ballots. If you are in the same boat having "Beat the Clock", what do you in the meantime if you no longer care what nastiy things might come out in the remainder? Well you can always watch old Sparks videos (see above)! Or old Night Gallery episodes on Hulu. Hallowen is near, check some of these Serling classics (yes there's occasional good stuff on the internet besides politics and porn, if that isn't all you think about).

You may have seen this before...but keep watching.

In case you read the title quickly, there was no apostrophe there. So no it's not another Page/Plant reunion, and even though the only other two Zeppelin airships in the world are in Germany and Japan, again no we haven't been transported to the 1930s. But Zeppelins are back in the skies over America for the first time in 70 some odd years. If you aren't scraping for dough right now you can purchase a ticket from this California based company Airship Ventures and tour the wine country near San Francisco, have a wedding party, etc. And don't worry about someone screaming "oh the humanity" as you tumble in a fireball from the sky at the end of your journey. The new Zeppelins are filled with nonflammable helium rather than hydrogen. We'll save the hydrogen for new fuel cell Pintos... Art by Danny Jock.

It's not what you think! Sarah Palin, America's Next Top Hockey Mom has "ceremonially" dropped the puck at two NHL games thus far into the voting/hockey season, and both times have resulted in disaster. Game 1: Philadelphia Flyers v. New York Rangers, October 11, 2008 in Philadelphia. She is ceremonially roundly booed (as you can see in the above video) to the point where stadium officials had to turn up the music to drown out the response to a cheap political trick (see video here). The curse? Flyers go down 4-0 in the first period, nearly even it by the final whistle, end up losing 4-3, then subsequently go on to lose their next five games, going 0-6 equaling the worst start in franchise history. 

Fast forward to Friday, October 24. St. Louis Blues v. Los Angeles Kings in St. Louis. Sarah Palin, America's Next Top Hockey Mom again out to ceremonially drop the first puck when Blues star goalie Manny Legace trips over the rug laid out for Ms. Palin and leaves the game after the first period (read the story here and peep the video here) with an injury stemming from the fall (Blues also lose 4-0 at home). Manny is a good sport about it all, and claims he doesn't blame Palin, in which he cleverly implies just the opposite. Coincidentally, the Flyers break out of their losing streak the very same night. Coincidence? Yeah, right. —mkl

As most watchers of last night's debate observed there was very little said that could potentially change the tide of the presidential campaign. McCain came out swinging, trying to hit every hot switch he could, and looking as frantic as Lucille Ball on the chocolate manufacturing line. Obama countered, as usual, with the coolness and vivacity of a cigar store Indian, but neither said anything new or revealing despite some quality questions by moderator Bob Schieffer.

But on slow news days some things are unfairly thrust into the spotlight, like today's New York Times' comment about McCain's blinking habit ("... his frozen smile and wide eyes—which blinked frequently and distractingly at times..."). But there's also Joe the Plumber, that old boy McCain frequently and distractingly referenced about 24 times last night. Well the Times has uncovered in this news-breaking story that among the facades this character has been portraying to the American people, he is not in fact named Joe the Plumber. His real name is Samuel J. Wurlizbacher. Not only that, the Toledo Plumbers Union has no record of a license under Joe Wurlizbacher, and his back taxes might be suspect to boot. Way to go, John! How will McCain-Palin pin this one on the Democrats? Not only did they put Joe's job on the line, they also probably ruined the poor guy's chances of buying and running a legitimate business in Ohio.

Joe, unmasked now as the tax-evading, name-appropriating, unlicensed plumber, and unwitting "celebrity" he is, may have to hope that the McCain-Palin ticket can ride the wave of an increasingly ugly campaign and cheap populism (without, hopefully, getting anyone else fired from their jobs) to the White House. At least then there's a chance Palin can continue her history of cronyism and appoint Joe the Plumber and that "other Joe"—no, not Joe Biden... Joe Six-Pack!—respectively to the heads of a U.S. department of infrastructure and the ATF. —mkl 

In case you missed it, here's the final debate, with "Joe the Plumber," ACORN, "eloquence" and whatever else McCain tried to pull out of the hat last minute. You be the judge if any of it was effective, or aptly refuted as Obama turned the mirror back on the Arizona Senator on some of the same issues. This is the the 25th hour folks, locate your polling stations if you are registered and get out and vote November 4th. For more clips and roundatable analysis, etc, see here.

Speaking of Joe the Plumber, I'm still trying to figure out Joe Six Pack. Is that the guy kicking back with the 6 cans of Bud Light every night, or the the type A man with the ab machine, working off those brewskies? - like Palin's snowmobile champ husband, known as Alaska's "first dude." I cringe thinking if "first dude" makes it to Washington as the first VP spouse that we'll see Schwarzenegger have a comeback from gubernatorial duties to play the film role, maybe digging up Danny Devito to play the troublesome sidekick in the snowmobile sidecar. Agghh!

Speaking of Economics, one of President Bush's harshest critics Paul Krugman wins the Nobel Prize for economics (good guy, not creepy like this drawing...Mr. Jock!...harhar...). To read some of his columns go here. Again, on the economic front, Fanzine is cutting costs in anticipation of more lumps ahead in the current economic situation, and is putting stuff in storage and floating for a bit, seeking more space with less stress. But since it's an online gig, New York will remain a central locus, with editor Mike Louie remaining in town while editor Casey McKinney will be doing Fanzine from Atlanta for the forseeable future. More on that soon, and expect the content to resume in November once things are settled again. This is a positive move, no worries. Writers send more pitches, and sorry for the current spaciness. And can we say 'go Obama' as a mag still trying to be a 501C3? Fuck it (as Betty White might say), go Obama!

Paulson’s Game

It's three weeks till the elections, so let's play ball (no not hardball - sorry Chris Matthews, how about some basketball?). If "change" were akin to jumpshots and slam dunks who will be credited with the most "change" a year from now? Will Barack Obama beat out John McCain with a full court press in the swing states? Or will McCain’s VP choice, Sarah “Barracuda” Palin, smarten up long enough to fool everyone (sorry trying to be objective, but it’s hard). Regardless the outcome, either candidate is going to have to deal with a financial crisis that could be on par with the Great Depression; the current precipitous meltdown has seen most of the large public brokerage firms go under, from Bear Stearns to Lehman Brothers, and many banks as well. Anyone out there banking at Washington Mutual now knows that overnight they suddenly have their money in JP Morgan Chase.

For several weekends in a row, people holding stocks on a Friday might have awoken Monday morning to see their shares nationalized and wiped out, as was the case with investors in Fannie Mae and AIG. Even people simply holding mutual funds have seen a drastic dip in their savings. Before George Bush enters his lame duck months, the ball has been given to Treasury Secretary and Ex-Goldman Sacher Henry "Hank" Paulson. The last two large brokerage firms to survive were Morgan Stanley and Goldman Sachs...hmmm (a tad curious for the consiracy theorists out there). Still, MS almost was almost wiped out Friday, had it not been for a last minute substitution of capital from Japan’s Mitsubishi -UFJ over the weekend. And even these two companies, which are rallying back on this record day (Stanley closed up 87%), were forced to become banks, i.e. no longer brokerage firms, therefore giving up their 30 to 1 investing leverage in the process).

You may have heard a great deal about the 800 billion dollar bailout package (what was the last figure after all the earmarks went through?). And you may have seen a tall balding man with small glasses and a stammer like Moses, sheepishly making his case before Congress, then listening, it seemed, somewhat painfully as both Houses yammered up big speeches before their constituents (in case anyone was tuning in on C-span) a couple of weeks ago, before ultimately passing an inevitable bill that would pump money back into the financial system, a system brought to its knees by a credit crisis brought on by years of reckless, predatory and unscrupulous subprime lending for house mortgages and other loans. The rally today might be attributed to the fact that Hank Paulson’s Plan (now known as TARP) is being implemented, that liquidity is being injected back into banks. Also the global central banks' coordinated half basis point rate cut last week is perhaps now creating confidence in investors.

So if this isn’t financial Armageddon, and the rally sustains itself (yeah..er..okay), who’s going to get the credit? Is Paulson stealing the show?

More soon...On Hedge Funds, Short Selling

Art by Danny Jock

*Also for a good summation of the financial crisis, see Fanzine's friend and attorney Adam David's Blog.

Read on reddit that someone put an ad on craigslist for a lookalike of Sarah Palin to star in a porn film. See: http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/adg/836109998.html. If that link doesn’t work (I imagine it will get taken down soon), here’s what it said:

NEED SARAH PALIN LOOKALIKE ASAP FOR ADULT FILM (LA)
Reply to: gigs-836109998@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-09-10, 8:20PM PDT

Looking for a Sarah Palin lookalike for an adult film to be shot in next 10 days.
Major adult studio.
Please send pix, stats etc. ASAP
Pay: $2000-3000
No anal required

• Location: LA
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: $2000-3000

I love that, "no anal required". So I forward that to Danny Jock to see if he wanted to draw something for it (see above), and he tells me Larry Flynt is the one responsible. Ahhh good old Larry Flynt...If anyone is willing to risk his ass for free speech, it's him. Took a bullet for it that paralyzed him. In another month I imagine we'll know if our rights are still safe, or if it's time to move outta here before the whole ship sinks (been badly teetering the past few weeks, least on Wall Street). Now me, I am worried about this other guy, Mr. "I've become as fickle and shameless as Joe Lieberman," but worse, John McCain, but I've heard weird things from people saying Obama's the anti-christ "because he comes from the East." I thought he came from Hawaii? Anyway...we don't judge here, just make obvservations (um...cough). And Mr Flynt, if you read this, we'd like to observe that tape, if you please? Send it our way.